* Joke of the month,and its all pure stereotype

I was a very happy person. My wonderful girlfriend n I had been dating 4 over a year, n so we decided 2 get married. There was only one little thing bothering me, It was her
beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me(ehh kumowto!) and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate because she never did it when she was near anyone else. One day her "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild
fling, just come up and get me." I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!.
With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man
for our daughter. Welcome to the family!" And the moral of this story is:, Always keep your CONDOM in the Car , I was actually going to get my condom!

**imagine after posting Å hilarious joke like this,some haters out there will still come around and criticise their boss* ;)

A FUN OF CREATIVITY FOR A NAIROBIAN

IT IS NOT A STORY BUT A TRUE INCIDENT THAT HAPPENED IN NAIROBI .

'NAIROBIAN MIND'

A NAIROBIAN man walks into a bank in NAIROBI City and asks for the loan
officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to DUBAI on
business for two weeks and needs to borrow KSH 5,000.

The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of
security for the loan, so the NAIROBIAN man hands over the keys to a new Ferrari
parked on the street in front of the bank. He produces the title and
everything checks out. The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for
the loan.

The bank's president and its officers (who likes bragging) all enjoy a good laugh at the
NAIROBIAN guy for using a KSH 1,500,000 Ferrari as collateral against a KSH 5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's
underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the NAIROBIAN returns, repays the KSH 5,000 and the
interest,which comes to KSH 150.41.The loan officer says, 'Sir, we are very happy
to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely
but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and
found that you are a multi millionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you
bother to borrow 'KSH 5,000'

The NAIROBIAN replies: 'Where else in NAIROBI can I park my car for
two weeks for only KSH 150.41 and expect it to be there when I return''

Ah, the mind of the NAIROBIAN ...

How Bible in Shieng Will be!

A Sheng Bible Will Make An Interesting Read..

'Luke Kumi na tisa, moja hadi ashuu.'

Then Jesus entered and passed through Jericho.
--Basi Yesu akapenya Jeri na alikuwa akipitia tuu.

Now behold,there was a man called Zaccheus who was the
Chief Tax collector and was rich.
--Basi kulikuwa na msee mmoja anaitwa Zaka . Huyu
Zaka alikuwa dongra wa kukwachu munde, na alikuwa
sonko mbaya

And he sought to see who Jesus was, but he couldn't
because of the crowd,for he was a short man.
--Zaka alijisikia kusorora huyu Yesu ,lakini wapi ju
ya ile kerende:alikuwa ka-pienga!

So he ran ahead and climbed up into a sycamore tree to
see Him for he was going that direction.
--Zaka akajishanora akadandia miti ndio asorore vipoa
juu alikuwa akikwome hiyo side.

And when Jesus came to the place, He looked up and saw
him, and said to him
--Basi Yesu aligalavant akafika hiyo baze,akachi-ek
mabatini akamyebi na kumshow niaje ?

'Zacchaeus,make a haste and come down, for today I
must stay at your house'
--'Zaka dondoka faster faster juu leo lazima ni
maintain kwa keja yako'.

A sheng bible will make an interesting read

Language Barrier Misunderstanding

A female BBC reporter was conducting an interview with a farmer about Mad Cow Disease.

"Sir, do you have any idea what might be the cause of this strange disease?"

"Sure. U c, we rear our cows on zero grazing. Thus their movements r restricted to zero. Furthermore, bulls only screw the cows once a year?"

"Umm, sir, that is a new piece of information, but what's the relationship between this and Mad Cows?"

"Well, we milk the cows twice a day n in some, thrice daily"

"That's interesting, but, what's the point sir?"

"Lady, yaonekana hushikanishi mawaya. The point is this, if I'm playing with your tits twice a day, but only screwing you once a year, wouldn't you go mad too?"

KCSE HiSToRy PP 1 Funny Quiz

1. Do you think there is a 'NO SMOKIN' sign in Mr. SMOKIN WANJALA's office? (0.5 marks)

2. “...this is green, this is green, hata ile red ni green...”

From the above extract, is it safe to say Peter Marangi is COLOR BLIND? (2 green paints)

3. The number of ladies is larger than that of men. If 90% of the ladies prayed for by PASTOR OJGBANI at Nyayo Stadium actually get men, Calculate the probability that the Pastor has succeeded in creating more MPANGO wa KANDOs.(10MKS)

CIVICS

TRUE or FALSE? The green color on the Kenyan flag represents M-PESA. (2 Bonga points).

“Some public officer have exhibited questionable behavior”. With this in mind answer the following questions.

i) Why does MIGUNA MIGUNA use the same name twice?

ii) Do you think a commission of inquiry should be formed to investigate his name? (5 marks)

SOCIAL ETHICS

Bearing in mind that you are Kenyan, what do you do when you see a fallen oil tanker?

A) Run away and come back with a jerrycan

B) Call your family to make some quick money

C) Steal the battery

D) Light a cigarette (20mrks )

This is what all petrol tankers will be labeled in order to keep guys from harvesting oil when they roll. Do you support the move? (10 Marks)

CRAZIEST QUESTIONS WELL ANSWERED

In a matatu
passenger; Tao ni ngapi?
Conductor; wee unajua ngapi?
.................................................

Vct attendant; utapimwa nini
patient; homa
.....................................................

Kwa stage
dere; mnaenda tao?
Stude; hapana. Tumesimama
......................................................

From church
mzae;church kuna watu?
Stude;zii. Ni mbuzi yetu na ng'ombe za pastor
..............................................................

Lol
conductor; ingia gari ni mbao.
Dame; alafu ukimbao? Nkt!
...................................................................

Nurse; unataka daktari ama?
Patient(in pain); apana,nlikua nmekam kuona haga yako
......................................................................

....
Ebu you pipz help me answer thiz one
''dude;na leo giza imeingia mapema aje?''
ijibiwe aje?

Being too good can mislead a times.

Wife was sure dat her husband was havng Sex wit the maid so she laid a trap
1 evening she suddenly sent the maid home 4 weekend & didnt tell husband n she slept on maid's bed. She switched d lights off. He cam in silently, he wastd no time on words bt quickly started Sex..
Wen he finished, Wife said, "U didn't expect me in dis bed, did u..?" & switched on d light.
"No Madam", said d Watchman!
MORAL: Sumtyms getting 2 smart can get u fucked!!=)) =D